dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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