i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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