McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
