I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
