I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
