Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
