I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
