Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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