On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize