My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
