Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
