so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
She said her name was "party"
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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