Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
