Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
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