Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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