I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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