how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
