i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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