On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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