ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
