we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
