he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
