Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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