We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
