would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
