Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
