I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
