covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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