he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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