I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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