The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Terrible idea I love it
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
