Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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