We're facebook friends in real life
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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