For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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