I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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