Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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