Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
