He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
well you can't waste a boner
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
