butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
