And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
