something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
