STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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