his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
