What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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