Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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