hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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