wat bout pragnant strippers??
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
