I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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