um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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