First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
