i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Randomize
