i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
