O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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