Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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