Screwed.edu
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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