Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
