theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
